Laundry Day

Day 7 - October 18, 2021

Today is a rest day. I’m very thankful for these days because it gives me time to…well…rest. We picked up some fruits on our drive to the event yesterday which includes Kiwi, Goa, Oranges, Papaya, Pomegranate, and Alma. I’ve only eaten three of those so this will be an adventure. I started the day with coffee, a pomegranate, and time walking the roof as I folded my laundry. There are Bougainvilleas on the roof and some other plants that I don't know the name of. They are absolutely beautiful against the backdrop of the city.

Most of my day was spent either editing or genuinely being lazy. In fact, not much happened until later in the evening so I have no complaints. 

As I was editing this evening the guy who cooks for us brought me an entire sweet corn as a snack. A whole corn on the cob. I know that last comment wasn’t a complete sentence but I am so caught off guard that my brain is short circuiting. I love how I think I have things figured out and then BOOM, here’s a corn. What a plot twist. 

After the corn and a conversation with my host, we headed out to dinner and this is where some tensions arose. It wasn't a bad situation, but there are some cultural differences that are putting a strain on my ability to communicate with my host. Let me explain what is happening.

I have an uncanny ability to say "No." If I don't like something I have no problem declining it. For me "no" means "no." For this culture "no" means I am only declining to be polite. For example, I do not like chocolate. *gasp* I know I know. I don't like the texture, the flavor, or the richness of it. It's just not my thing and really never has been. Two Chipotle burritos? Yes. A single piece of a Hershey bar? Absolutely not. Instead of explaining that whole thing to my host I simply said "no" when asked if I wanted a chocolate dessert with lunch. When lunch arrived it included a...Chocolate dessert. My host asked what size piece I wanted and again I declined with, "I really don't want it." The whole dessert was then put on my plate. At this point I am not bothered but I am very confused and rapidly trying to figure out how to say "no" in a way that communicates effectively.

Fast forward to dinner where my host has taken me out to eat. I order a soup and pasta. I start eating, finish my soup, and finish half of my pasta before getting full. At that point I stopped eating. Makes sense right? I thought so. My host asks me if it was spicy and I say "no, I'm just full." To this response he called the server over and told him that my food was spicy and it needed to be remade. At this point I say "no, it's not spicy. I just want to take the rest home." Again I failed to communicate and my food was sent to the kitchen to be remade after I ate half of it and was completely full. Now I'm frustrated, full, AND tired so I completely stop talking because I just genuinely don't know what else to do. My host says "when it comes back you can eat it." I reply, "I am full, tired, and ready to go." He is now starting to realize that something is off. My pasta comes back and he tells me to try it to which I said...you guessed it, "No." We pack everything up and hop in the car to head home where he asks why I am mad. Being the person that I am I fully explained why I was not mad but frustrated because of my inability to communicate when I do not want something. We had a good conversation about the differences in our cultures and what I mentioned previously in regards to being polite and the tension dissipated.

Hear me when I said everything was handled very respectfully but also hear me when I say that this will be the first of many tensions due to cultural differences. That is a part of this process. Making room for each other so that communication and work can happen efficiently. I am glad we were able to work through this one rather quickly. By the time we returned to the house I was about to fall over and did a few minutes after walking in the door.